God's Angels

I knew that God's Angels walked among us and touched lives. It's just been in the last few years that I have learned to recognize the Angels that He sends to me.

When I met Jill a few months ago, I knew I would like her. She moved to North Carolina from Connecticut this year, her husband had been transferred with his job. She has a great personality and talking with her was always fun. I never knew how much she would impact my life, especially in a short amount of time.

When the Doctors' found the "suspicious" spots in my Breast MRI and prepared me for an early-stage breast cancer diagnosis last month, Jill was my cheerleader. She revealed that she was a Survivor. She had chemo for a Stage 1 Ductal-invasive mass and subsequent double mastectomy and reconstruction. I was stunned. I never had any idea and she looked amazing.

Over the last month, Jill and I have had many in-depth, personal conversations. I could ask her anything, regardless of how stupid I thought the question was. I could cry and confide my inner-most fears. She always understood because she's been there. She was and is a lifeline for me.

I found out 2 weeks ago that she & her husband had to move back to Connecticut and the move would happen by July 12th. I was devastated, especially since we had just bonded! I knew we would stay in touch, but there was a part of me that hated losing such a huge support system, especially in all the "newness" of Breast Cancer.

We tried a few times to get together, but we just never could. She was dealing with movers and the stress that comes with that (let alone planning an interstate move in less than 2 weeks!), and I was dealing with our busy life since the beach.

Today, less than 2 days before she moves, she found the time to come visit with me. She met all the kids, even my mom. We chit-chatted about my upcoming wedding and had some conversation with the kids.

We sat down at my kitchen table and talked about all the information I had, my new plastic surgeon, and what her mastectomy and reconstruction experience was like. It was wonderful listening to my friend talk. The surgeries seemed "doable". Jill had survived all this....the surgery, the wait, the healing....and came out on the other side, beautiful and strong.

Then she asked me if I wanted to see. YES. I wanted to see what happened to her. Was it as bad as some of the reconstructions that I saw on the Internet? Have I been scaring myself with all this research or did I have a reason to be so scared?

We went to my son's bedroom and I caught myself holding my breath while she pulled her shirt down.

She looked amazing. Her boobs looked real. She didn't have nipples, but still had her areola on each breast. She had a couple scars, but they were small and pretty unnoticeable. Her breasts were symmetric, full, and firm. Then she says, "Amy,  you need to feel them.". I was scared to, but I did.

Just when I thought it wasn't possible, I was even more amazed. Her breasts even felt real! She showed me how they don't sag as much, they don't move as much if she jumps up & down, and showed me where the Alloderm slings were. We talked all about our procedures. She had everything that I am getting ready to have....mastectomy, expanders, silicone implants, the whole 9.

I can't tell you how much better I feel about this surgery now. Jill knows, like you do, how much I have been struggling with all of this. She told me that it was important to her that she see me before she left to show me what I was facing. Thanks to her, the cosmetic hang-ups surrounding breast reconstruction that I thought were such a big deal, disappeared this afternoon.

I know that Jill is one of God's Angels. She came into my life when I needed her the most. I'm not as upset that she is leaving...after all, today, she set me free. I am so blessed to have met her when I did. I know that it was all part of His plan.

 I'm so grateful to be graced with and recognize one of God's Angels. It's truly a blessing in cloudy times.