The power of the number "10"

My countdowns are well under way. I'm officially 5 days away from our wedding, a day that Ward & I have both waited on for years. We've been together for over 4 years and planning our wedding for almost 3. Little things like Cancer and Cohn’s disease kept getting in our way. Needless to say, it's finally happening! I am so excited! I know the wedding will be beautiful and a happy day for our family.

Last week, we realized we were a mere 10 days away from the wedding while we were making all of our last-minute to-do lists. For some reason, I realized that my surgery would be a mere 10 days after our beautiful wedding.

The power of the number "10" resulted in a minor breakdown for me. The guilt I feel for having such a major surgery right after our honeymoon and losing work right before the holidays weighs on me. The fear I have, well, it's understandable, but at times it can take my breath away. The anxiety about losing my boobs. All that-it's overwhelming.

I hate that surgery is so close to the wedding even though I know there was no other time to do it. But then, when is the right time for any surgery? I really hope that I don't forever associate our wedding day with mastectomy. I pray that in the end, I will look back at this pivotal point in my life and think to myself...."I started a new life with my husband, our children, and had surgery to ensure that life together".

I can't focus on that now, though. There's too much to do! This week will be crazy for sure-wrapping up wedding plans, wrapping up things at work since I officially begin my leave next week, getting things prepared for my dad who will stay with the kids while we're gone on our honeymoon, and sooooo much more.

Today, I'm well past the number "10" and hope to keep this momentum going! :)