Saturday, August 6, 2011

History lesson with Ward & Amy

I haven't posted in a while, and I've missed it!

I've been busy, like everyone else in this super-fast world, dealing with life on life's terms. Well, trying to. Between working insane hours, fighting with the local school board to transfer my youngest daughter out of a bad school, planning our wedding, and trying to find quality time with the family, I'm plenty occupied.

Ward & I are getting married on October 22. We've been together since 2007. Since that time, we've endured more than most couples face in an entire lifetime. If you don't know us, here's a run-down of what's happened with us.

My stage 1 Bladder Cancer was discovered in early 2007. I endured intra-bladder chemotherapy, but it was light and I really didn't have any "chemo" side effects. The worst of it was having to have catheters for treatment. It was during this time that I discovered that I was positive for the BRCA1 gene. July 2007, I had a complete hysterectomy at the age of 29.

In September of 2008, we discovered that my Bladder Cancer had returned. My new doctors in Charlotte didn't believe that it ever really went into remission, so I was to go through 6 rounds of aggressive chemo. 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. Being my stubborn self, I decided against a port, so this poison would course through my veins and ruin them. The weeks that I had treatment, I barely got out of the bed. Everything tasted like metal and worst of all, my hair fell out.

I HATED that. Everyone knew I had cancer, even strangers. You could tell I was sick anyway without that hat I wore ALL the time. I felt everyone's pity. I felt "defined" and I hated every second of it. People told me that I was strong, brave, and an inspiration. I sure didn't feel that way inside....I wanted to hide from the world. I wouldn't let people take my picture...I'm missing in all our Christmas pictures in 2008. I didn't hide all the time like I wanted to....I couldn't. I still went to work on my "off" weeks. Looking back, I don't know how I did it.

Anyway, I went into remission in February of 2009. In March, Ward got sick. He was having severe stomach pains. After trips to doctors and a bad ER trip in early April 2009, he was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. That ER trip in April ended up being an admission. In an attempt to get his "flare" under control, the doctors gave him massive doses of steroids, to no avail. He ended up having a re-section surgery mid-month.

They removed 14 inches of his small intestine & colon. The night he was supposed to come home, the surgery failed. His intestines came apart, everything that was in his stomach seeped into his body, & he became septic. I was called early Friday morning to learn that my best friend, who was coming home that day, had been rushed to ICU.

Ward needed emergency surgery. He actually died on the table. Our surgeon, Dr. P, was able to bring him back, although he didn't know that Ward would make it through the night. They tried to clean him out as best they could before he crashed, but didn't get everything. They also couldn't reattach the intestines. Ward had an ileostomy and bag. Maybe they could reverse it if he made it.

He pulled through...he's so stubborn. LOL! He stayed in the hospital for a total of 6 weeks. He did well with his ileostomy and was able to have it reversed in a third surgery in October 2009.

During all this, we were still raising our five children together and working. People asked us all the time how we managed. Well, our relationship with God became strong that year. Our family & friends were lifelines to us....we could never say thank you enough.

Needless to say, 2010 was a pretty uneventful year as far as our health was concerned. My mother's kidneys were failing, so we moved her to an assisted living place close to our home and I've accompanied her to many surgeries over the last year.

 Ward & I began planning this wedding...this melding of our families in a celebration with our friends and family. When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in June, I told Ward how guilty I felt that we would start our marriage with such a major surgery. His response? "How else would we do it?" I love that guy.

So we will affirm our love on October 22. We will go away to enjoy our honeymoon, sans children (Woohoo!), in beautiful Savannah, Georgia. We will return on October 28 and I have a double mastectomy less than a week later. It's not the way I would want to start our marriage, but then again, it's a perfect start. My best friend and me....fighting cancer and kicking it's ass.

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